As I Lay Me Down to Sleep

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As I lay me down to sleep, I dream of an unclad woman – soft and sweet. She had flawless skin and silk-like hair. Her complexion was chocolate – tanned and fair.  On a mountaintop, she set – so picturesque, under clear blue skies as the sunlight’s beam danced on her without blemish – there she gleamed. 

Blanketed with delicate blossoms that swayed softly in the tender breeze. On a windy mountaintop – her flowery green meadow bed of ease. Then my breath came to a screeching halt as I beheld such beauty – so distraught. In a fetal position there she stayed. Just skin and bones in an opened cage. 

As I lay me down to sleep, I have dreamt three times of an unclad woman – she was soft and sweet. An outstretched hand reached out to care, but leave her cage, she wouldn’t dare. Then my heart it skipped a beat, as I beheld such beauty – succumb to defeat. So, now as I lay me down to sleep I pray for every unclad woman – soft and sweet.

Whatever the insecurity, whatever the pain – it’s never enough to remain in an opened cage” (Yvonne James, 2016, Baring My Soul, p. 47).

A woman’s outward beauty can be a facade maintained to conceal her less pleasant and harsh reality.  Insecurities, low self-esteem, and depression masked by a beautiful smile and painted face. All of these things to help her forget how nasty and ugly she feels inside. Decades of abuse, years of rape, days of incest, and parental neglect can leave unsightly scars that run deeper than the deepest ocean and towers higher than the tallest mountain.

Related imageFor her, to tell someone of her predicament would be like shining a light on her shame – exposing the lie she has been living for so long. On the outside, her life seems normal, even envied by family and friends. On the outside, she is successful and adored by her colleagues and classmates.  On the outside, she is high maintenance and driven.

But, on the inside, she is full of death and darkness. Spending sleepless nights hiding cowardly under the sheets, helpless and afraid to sleep for fear that someone into her bed would creep without her consent.  On the inside, she is abnormal, unsuccessful. On the inside, she is not beautiful – she is a failure, repulsive, and undesirable.

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“Father, look on every girl, every woman who is suffering in an abusive relationship. Give her the strength, courage, and support she needs to come out of her abusive situation.  Help her to overcome every obstacle that has been placed before her. Refute every lie the devil has told her, ‘You are ugly. Look at you, no one wants you! You will never be anything without me.’ Let her know that she is more than what she has endured and greater than her pain – she is loved. Uphold her with your right hand, and deliver her from the hands of her oppressor. Set her free, mend the brokenness, and heal every wound, Lord – mind, body, soul, and spirit. In Jesus name, I pray. Thank God. Amen.”

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Unlock the door, break the silence, and finally be free!

“As I Lay Me Down to Sleep.” — Yvonne James | | © Yvonne James (aka Elder Yvonne James) and Blogging with Yvonne, 2010-2017.


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3 Responses to As I Lay Me Down to Sleep

  1. Reblogged this on Blogging with Yvonne and commented:

    Let Us Re-Visit, “As I Lay Me Down to Sleep.”


  2. Shelley Deeken says:

    This one truly speaks to me. I am a victim of abuse at the hands of my father and my 1st husband. This taught me many lessons it at the same time damaged me in ways I fear can never be undone. Knowing my Lord has faith in me is all I have somedays. And He sent me my husband David. I would be nothing and totally lost without them both

    Liked by 1 person

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